I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: Dan & Serena (Derena), Crazy Girlfriends, The Humphrey Bullshit Tolerance Level (it’s in the genes), Quintessential Chicago Acid House Tracks As What Gets You Through.

A girl I know dropped me a note earlier this week saying “Just watched the latest Gossip Girl. Poor Serena.” I was stunned. With all of the shit Dan has put up with from this girl, he’s finally free and people are saying “Poor Serena”??

Things Dan Has Put Up With Beyond All Reason:

Blair Waldorf, a rape attempt on his sister, Chuck Bass being Chuck Bass (see above), Serena vs. Vanessa, Serena’s early-season-one-era crazy mom & grandmother, the whole Georgina thing, Serena always standing him up (ONE of our bloggers can relate to him on THAT one) and that’s just a small helping.

And now look at the preview for this week! This girl is NUTS. Listen Dan, you got out exactly when you should have. It’s going to suck for a bit, and let’s face it, Serena is very hot and pretty damn cool (at times) but it’s time to move on (just like you did this summer – high five buddy!).

And like most emotions, this one can be best summed up by a track off Mike Dunn’s 1988 Acid House masterpiece “Face The Nation”…take it away Mike!

Mike Dunn - Set Me Free (Song For Dan)

And here’s that preview:

Discussed: The Apocalypse, My Complicated Relationship with Maurice R. Greenberg, Duchess Debt, Stealing Banks, Handling Business, Articulating Pubescent Feelings, Mind Control

It was hard to be an awake and functioning human being this week, and not realize that our economic situation is beginning to resemble that of the Archibald family’s. We’re all familiar with Nate’s father’s Season One drug problem come embezzlement indictment, resulting in his fleeing of the country, and how that resulted in the Season Two seizing of the family’s assets, Chuck Bass lending money behind his back, Nate getting the Duchess to pay him back, and ending in Nate’s current no-end-in-sight love woes.

Bank of America buys Merrill Lynch on Sunday, Monday Morning Lehman Brothers files bankruptcy, Barclays buys some of it (”buys” is a bit of an overstatement, when they practically stole it at a cool $1.3bn), then AIG (an insurer of Lehman Brothers) announces they’re fucked, they borrow $20bn from their subsidiaries, but that’s not enough. Will the Fed swoop in? We’re beginning to feel a bit like the Archibalds here. And here’s were it gets good…Gossip Girl good:

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Discusssed: Richard Brinsley Sheridan’s 1777 Comedy of Manners, Variations in Menu Ordering Options for Straight Men, The One That Got Away, Royalty Are Insane, Overcoming Your Inner Douche, Being So Emo It Hurts, The Deus Ex Machina, The Dick Wolf Hedgemony, Electric Vs Manual Razors

OMG. Or, more precisely, OMFG.
Tonight, in our book, was Season 2’s first real episode of Gossip Girl.

This is where it all really starts, setting the action back in the city, with the bulk of it in the penthouse of ill repute – The Waldorf School for Scandal. While the previous two episodes were all well and good, they merely were the buffalo wings before the fried chicken as C would say, or as I would say, the Lemon Baby Arugula Salad before the Olive and Caper stuffed Grilled Trout. (more…)

Discussed: Mumblecore Tween Brainwashing; Nabokov’s ‘Lolita’; Foul-Mouthed Line Flubs; She-Tears; Love Shenanigans; Bertolucci’s Late-’70s Aesthetics; The Ascension of the Chuck Bass as Everyman

Now, I’m sure it didn’t take you long to realize the reason to watch and real moral centerpiece of this whole deal was, and is, Chuck Bass.

No one really makes this clear up front. Least of not Chuck Bass himself.

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Two guys (B & C) blindsided by their love of Gossip Girl, bring you a slightly more masculine take on the Best Show On Television.