I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: “Updating Winston Churchill: ‘IACB.com is speechless, and it takes 642 words to express it’s speechlessness’”, Immanuel Kant’s ‘The Sublime’, Verbose Haters Too Lazy To Really Read, Texting and Tee-heeing Scientists (In Real Life), Shortcomings Of Current Trends and Tropes In Journalism, Will Someone From GG Please Email and Give Us Our Due, Constellations Centaurus and Musca, Great Faux Pas in Hairstyle History, Hot Sex, Gingko Increases Blood Flow, Ho Hum Actors, The Dandy Warhols Did Make A Good Album Once, Animals As Style Gurus

CHUCK IN ASCENSION, CHUCK IN WORLD DOMINATION

Well, well, well – what can we say? Sometimes things happen in life that are beyond words. While some could say we’re prone to excess hyperbole and hype, and some have levied the derogatory judgment on this site as “dense prose,” it doesn’t take a Gossip Girl-faithful nuclear physicist to attempt to tell you precisely how revelatory and amazing “Chuck In Real Life” was. This was next-level television, or the argument could be made, next level narrative entertainment. As C might say “game changing.”

Usually one can run through a recap of the episode noting certain witticisms (“Since You’ve Been Gone was your ring tone”) or improbably awesome happenings, (Chuck lobbing a Nair-tini), but last nights episode was effective, subtle, emotional manipulations of characters and story lines long in the making, not surprisingly, focusing on the most complex and arguably moral character, Chuck Bass. One needn’t even deconstruct the Gossip Girl “Womanizer” promo (borrowing heavily from this site’s content and M.O.) airing during the commercial break to see just to what extent he’s become the crux of the show.

Families, friendship, revenge, business, gentrification, trust and True Love were all on display this week, all filtered through the searing stare of Chuck and instead of offering trite answers written by adults and voiced through kids, we were mainly left with a number of questions: Was Chuck falling for Vanessa? Did the stereotypically soulful African-American bar owner truly invigorate his sense of justice? What toll does Bart’s family-as-business philosophy take? And his complexifying frustrated love for Blair… well, uhh, what of it? (…)

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Discussed: Harry Nilsson’s “Without You”, This Blog as a Language, It All Started With One of Them Tied Up & Naked, Gossip Girl as Seen in Black & White

C here. I’m writing proudly as I present to you the first entry in our new category “Game. Changer.” Firstly, please note the periods after “game” and “changer”, as it is very important to stress each word as its own sentence, and not throw them around all willy nilly.

So for example, here is the incorrect way to use the term Game Changer:

“Wow, dude, I can’t believe Serena’s little brother came out of the closet, that is a real game changer.”

The correct way:

“Game. Changer. Fuck me. Eric’s Gay. There’s a gay person on Gossip Girl. Game Changer…Game. Changer.“*

Good, now that that’s all cleared up, let’s discuss what is arguably the most significant Game. Changer. yet this season (drum roll please): the budding friendship of Dan Humphrey and Nate Archibald (BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!)

If there is one thing we have been waiting for since season one it was for these two to realize that they are the perfect fit for one another. Dan needs help. He’s sort of a pussy and, as Nate said, he has a huge chip on his shoulder (thanks mom/dad), where as Nate is so laid back (see our latest Archibalds Poll). Dan could really learn a lot from him.

And at the same time, Nate can finally take that jump below 14th Street and into the life that he really wants – that of a “normal” person. Gallery openings, Santos’ Party House, a fixed gear bike, public transit, Beatrice – you know, a normal person…like Sarah Palin.

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Two guys (B & C) blindsided by their love of Gossip Girl, bring you a slightly more masculine take on the Best Show On Television.