I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: Mike Nichols and Jules Feiffer You Are Not, Newly Required Immunizations For Visiting America, Beelzebub Curated Cross Promotion, Applied Idiom Usage, Return Of The Prodigal Yuki, Arthur Schnitzler Would Have Approved, Heart Shaped Heart, Lazy Lists, George Lucas: Master Of CGI Racism, Get Nick Cave On Here, Wink Winking Through The Television, Addictive Nature Of Hiatuses

YALE FEVER - VACCINATE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THE SCOURGE OF THE UPPER EAST SIDE

Wow. I mean, wow. We’re a bit speechless. Well, I’m personally speechless and C was left hopping and hollering around the room like a ten gallon hat wearing, drunk-on-moonshine stereotype of a Texan gone mad with Oil Fever, but instead of Oil Fever, it was hot hot Verboten Teacher Sex Fever. The neighbors upstairs could even have mistaken him for a hopped-up-on-Ritalin tween shrieking in transcendentally ecstatic lust for the Jonas Brothers. (Shark Jumping Alert: thank god the brothers Jonas are guesting/shark jumping on 90210 and not GG)

So, yeah, with the good comes the bad. We unfortunately were on the receiving end of Blairzilla wreaking lame ass havoc; even her minions are sick of this shtick, with turncoat Nellie Yuki finally coming full circle and returning (sorta) to her stellar Season One roots. Bring back softy Blair the Bridezilla!

While this provided some annoying moments, it was all interwoven with so, so much good. Chuck bathing in his billions, going crazier by the second and being ushered into a secret sex society? With the “Eyes WIde Shut’-ness of it all even being called out? Murder most foul? YES!

But maybe even better than this, or equally as good, was Nate and Vanessa, after Chuck confided in them about it, jokingly playing with the absurdity of the concept and making googly in love eyes at one another; pretty refreshing to see a (thus-far) drama free normal relationship.

Reviewing the relationships:

1.) R.I.P. Dan and Serena. FINALLY. Though we wish it didn’t have to go down in that annoying overlapping perfectly in agreement finishing each others sentence dialogue that the writers tend to favor. Who does that? Oh, that’s right - soft focus Hallmark Movie Specials from the 80s do that.

2.) Blair’s annoying dog went the way of Jar Jar Binks, registered as a massive mistake and banished from the show hopefully for good.

3.) What more will it take for Blair’s dad to realize she’s the Bad Seed? His faux gravitas in discovering this was a bit strained.

4.) Now that Rufus is flush with Bass cash, that is sure some froo froo haircut Lily bought him. Where’s his matching Prada jacket and sunglasses?

5.) Darota, clearly energized by the Verizon produced online spin-off show she’ll head, has become awfully sassy in the background shots with Blair. Take her down!

And, we like to think we have a special relationship with the writers of the show, as after weeks of harping on LIttle J’s absurd raccoon eye make-up here on this very website, Judgemental-tron 3000 Dan Humphrey himself called his sister out on that make up faux pas, almost directly quoting us. Here’s looking to you guys!

Now, not to break up the love fest here - but how on God’s green Earth, does a woman of Mrs Carr’s lowly teacherly income afford the apartment/den of iniquity that she calls home? And how does everyone know where she lives?

In summation, we don’t know what your broadcast ended with, but we suspiciously had , instead burning our eyes with a lead in teaser for the preposterous ‘One Tree Hill’ evidently guest directed by Abercrombie & FItch tonite. Does this mean they’ve really gotten a taste for hiatuses? Well, if the returning shows are anything as good as tonite was, we’ll take it…

XOXO.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.