I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: ‘Joe Versus The Volcano’ Excluded, Film Characters The Japanese May Have Already Made, Italian Lesson: Schifoso, When Acid House Ruled The Earth, Being Hot Helps Land Hot Jobs, Jumping The Dog, IMAX Stole His Soul, Wee Dragon Bargain, Sesame Makes Everything Better

WHEN YOU’VE RUN OUT OF CINEMA CLASSICS TO HOMAGE, THERE’S THE SPECTRE OF MEDIOCRITY: TOM HANKS

Well well well; what a surprise last nite was. After last week’s mega intensity was followed with a stomping tantrum in tights preview of a rampaging Blairzilla, expectations for this week were, to say the least, low. But even though Blair failing to learn her manipulative she-devil steamrolling lesson YET AGAIN, tediously subplotted its way through this episode, the weaving Indra’s Net leading to the opera, the delicate fugue of characters the show does so well made this an awesome follow up.

Continuing in GG’s long lineage of introducing truly deplorable characters, Jack Bass perhaps outdid them all with an avalanche of skeeviness that made Dick Cheney seem like a MDMA fueled Santa Claus in Ibiza circa ‘89. That said, without Jack Bass, we would have been deprived one of the more interesting power pairings this season, a mother/son take down of Jack teaming Chuck and Lily. This made for some classic biting Bass lines sugarcoated with some borderline Hallmark motherly moments from Lily. Then there was of course the attempted rape culminating in one of the most palpably cathartic punches thrown on the show, though a little blood from the nose of Jack or on Chuck’s knuckles could have added to this atavistic joy.

And what of Teach For America’s Role Model Recruitment Vixen? Wow. Wow. Sure she, yawn, stood up to Blair, but the fireworks are clearly being purchased in advance of the scandalous coupling of her and Dan. This, we can’t wait for. And from what we hear, there’s a whole lot more of Rachel to come.

So, for the less salacious tidbits, Yale, Yale, Yale. Serena again took forever to figure out what she wanted, martyring her self left right and center to any passing person and annoying the fuck out of us in the process. Puh-lease - isn’t it time we had new character traits for these people? Getting o-l-d, though her breasts managed to still inspire awe.

Blair got a dog? Really? No comment here. Even Darota seemed to think this portends bad things.

Eric Van der Woodsen was given some of the best lines of the show in reference to the banging-like-bunny rabbits Lily and Rufus. While this should be gross, it is in fact awesome.

And then of course Nate was back romancing the stone that is Vanessa, providing some light hearted, drama free sane romance to the usually psychotically absurd proceedings.

Still unanswered: if Blair did in fact dance horizontally with the Devil (Jack). We’re pretty sure once Chuck and Blair get back together, this information will be learned and then they’ll separate again, sending shockwaves of tears and heartbreak amongst the devoted CHAIR nation.

Oh, and amazing shout-out to Angelica Kitchen, one of New York’s oldest and most delicious spots. Though C’s a lightweight, has a delicate tummy and hates vegans, so take this endorsement with a grain of gomasio.

XOXO.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 at 5:48 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.