I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: Hollywood Directors That Should Guest Direct An Episode Of GG, Elitist Magazines And The Expensive Joy They Bring, Definitions of Cool, The Bubblemen Are Great Too, Polo Shirts Unfit For Actual Tennis, Spreading The Character Wealth, The Enduring Transcendence of Altman, Stephen Hawkins in the GG Constellation, Fashion Challenged Directors Of Photography, Baby Balenciaga Vol. I, Street Signs Seen In The Background, Aasimov’s ‘I, Robot’, Sacha Baron Cohen = Prophet, Sotheby’s Current Punk Auction, Latter Day Hits of The Prodigy, Man Bangs Oppression

Making Upton Sinclair Proud, One Episode At A Time

Well, we suppose tonight it was made official, the paperwork sealed with an as-seen-in-Monocle wax letter seal embossed “IAmChuckBass.com” and celebrated with a fine wine of our choosing whilst one of our Mixtapes played proudly in the background.

After suspecting for some time that our humble blog influenced GG in some form of the other, ‘There Might Be Blood’ not only made reference to “cool” nightlife hot spot/dirty coke den of douchebag debauchery Beatrice, as predicted last week in C’s debut of his landmark “4-5-6” column, but also ended with the deft deployment of Love and Rocket’s 80s classic ‘No New Tale To Tell’, again, as our most recent Mixtape to music supervisor Alexandra implored.

But before we develop tennis elbow from prematurely patting ourselves on our Comme Des Garcons for Fred Perry clothed backs, there’s another excellent episode to tend to …

While recent GG missives tended to focus on certain characters or plots specifically, tonight was a delicately orchestrated whirling fugue of full frequency ensemble character development, Gossip Girl time and space bending insanity and a continued unbearable awkwardness in dealing with all things fashion related for Little J. I mean, could her guerrilla fashion show have been filmed any more cringe enducingly? Agnes is hot, sure, but the dull platitudes she barfs in dolphin destroying frequencies: “Careful! That’s couture!” seem aimed at the lowest of the lowest common denominators, like a LVMH financed instructional fashunnn! video for toddlers.

Rufus’ benevolent wave of compassionate Dalai Lama on a waffle bender channeling parenting is facing its gravest threat to date, with Little J taking to the cruel hard city streets – East 13th is no place for a girl like her! - and the Judgmentaltron 3000 (Dan) deciding it’s time to take off the plaid button-up emo boxing gloves and bust up his delicate writing knuckles with a no holds barred exploitative clawing assent to the top. Maybe the Humphrey self respecting, morally just “middle class” life is not what the kids have in mind anymore? Having your daughter arrested is sure one way to push them away.

Serena proves Ali G’s proclamation “Treat ‘em rough, you get the muff” to be at least somewhat true, as the multi-womanizing Aaron Rose has her rapt with his charm wave billowing from beneath his scarves and soundtrack referencing Sonic Youth t-shirt. (Was it just us or was the much ballyhooed Thurston Moore cover of the Ramones a bit of a snore?) Sure, Aaron’s pretty damn charming and the saving the liquorice ring earns points – fine, fine – we concede, he’s a smooth operator.

But the real star has to be Blair Waldorf. Exercising restraint and displaying depth not seen for a while, her babysitting trajectory for the episode, her interactions with Chuck, and tender recollections of losing her virginity to the one she loves were incredibly well played and well written.

More excitement appears electrifyingly in store for next week; was that a pyromaniac Agnes driving Little J to raccoon eye make up smearing insanity? And what about Nate? Can the poor guy catch a break? Driven from two homes now, boasting emotional baggage with both Chuck AND stupid Dan, do we sense a Season 3 mass murderer storyline for him? Sure hope not – better work on repairing that fallen bridge Dan. Pronto.

XOXO.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Open Questions, The Game, Uncategorized, Unwarranted Criticisim. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.