I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: Two Prophets By The Name Of B&C, Why Does AT&T Stubbornly Bother To Run Commercials NOT During The Show, “Black And White And Totally Over,” Free Amtrak Marketing Advice, Faberge Reputations, C’s Text Messaging Plan, Pronounced Cheekbones Don’t Equate Lack Of Feelings, ‘Word Up’ - Greatest Jam Ever

WILL THEY PAY HIS PHONE BILL ONLY IF HE SWITCHES TO VERIZON?

Well, it was bound to come out some time in the above-ground press, (presently in their death throws), but we called it here first months ago, and now The New York Post has boarded the Hipster Express, wearing only slim fitting black jeans and fedora, and talked to the real life artist and dealer Aaron Rose about the fictional facsimile that he clearly feels has lost a lot in translation.

“It’s funny and it’s flattering, but there’s a part of me that’s like, ‘Oh, go after them - this is not cool. They’re messing with my reputation.’”

And if that’s not enough, he evidently receives 5000 text messages from friends each time an Aaron Rose snore-fest airs, and believes the CW should cough up for his phone bill. PLUS, “”He acts like a model,” says Rose. “Like a male model. Anyone who’s a visual artist would laugh at him.” LOW BLOW!

We hereby posit, the only way to solve this simmering feud: CAMEO! That gymnast chick was on it - why not the real Aaron Rose?

Read the whole interview here(!)

XOXO.

Discussed: The Best Mens Jackets On Earth, Angles as Inspiration, Techno-Couture vs. Wild Animal Chic, Fallen Publications, Patience is a Virtue Not a Waffle

B’s earlier references to Little J’s episode-long “shag cut raccoon eyed tantrum…” was pretty spot on. Everyone appreciates that Jenny is a little-girl genius, and her dresses are impressive. But seriously. She’s made two. And one of them would have probably outlasted the season to end up on the super clearance rack at Urban Outfitters – not Barneys.

If Little J wants to do a line that Cory Kennedy will wear in NYLON, and sell five dresses a year because they’re so expensive (expensive because she can’t buy in bulk, hence no economy of scale) and then when she wants to expand, having no idea how to run a business, no personal relationships with the buyers, no way to afford a trip to Hong Kong to choose a manufacturer, then she’s on the right track. But…

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Discussed: Global Warming, Tricky Conflations Of Actor and Role, The Science of Sophistication, Clothes I’d Wear If I Could Afford It, Hairspray As Renewable Resource, Great Paradoxes In History, Dress Shirts Are Not Created Equal, Women Of Post-Punk

HOW A HIT FIRST SEASON SHOW’S CHARACTERS CHANGE ON HIATUS

It’s funny what a summer can do to a man. Or to anyone actually. Or, most specifically, to the cast members of Gossip Girl. I’m sure we weren’t the first ones to take notice of the streamlining changes afoot amongst everyone’s favorite ensemble, and now that just about all the characters have been cycled through at least once this season, I think we’re obligated to bring attention to this. Basically, everyone got a bit of a makeover, to be that much better prepared for their close-up. And here, we take a look at some of these. (Again, our comments sections await your searing insight.)

Chuck Bass: Starting with our hero, things have only gotten better for him, on a level one can only describe as “more refined,” as if he was sullying his haunches at Hugo Boss before, having now familiarized himself with the classic and cutting edge ouvre of Thom Browne and the like. As we’ll say about the other boys, he’s been hitting the weights something significant and looks all that much hotter because of it. (or so say EVERY female friend we have)…

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Discussed: Ayn Rand Needed A Stylist, Lazy One Stop Identity Shopping At The Gap, Awesome Wood Boats – I Need One, Suggested Reading Lists For Everyone, Cinema’s Modern Men, Pajamas As Clothing, German Mycologist Heinrich Anton de Bary’s Legacy

CHUCK AND CINEMA – WOMEN RESPOND TO ASCOTS

Men’s style has always been a bit of tricky thing. While certain tropes exist that we can choose to ascribe to, usually attached to one-stop-shopping and therefore tainted in a wash of bland boring capitalist nothingness.

There’s the big, brutish cut of the old monied Criss-Crafting J.Crew, the boxed silhouette of the Serengeti shooter (photographs/shotguns) in Banana Republic, and the fast unraveling tatters of the Euro-Dandie lucky enough to have valiantly battled his way to his size in H&M, amongst others offering their similarly unified lifestyle defining aesthetic.

As discussed elsewhere, one of the most affective devices of Gossip Girl is when they get all Meta on us, making Godard misty eyed from his beneath his stacks of page worn Noam Chomsky tomes piled to his Rolle, Switzerland ceiling. And nothing is more meta, fashion wise, then the immaculate, Cinema-referencing style of Chuck Bass.

One need not look further then Bertolucci’s landmark 1970 film “The Conformist” to witness the ripples that resulted in Chuck’s tailored suits of infinite refinement, accentuating not overwhelming ascots and beyond. In fact, the argument could be made, that the 65 – 72 golden age of French and Italian New Wave films form the bedrock of the Bass Style Guide, from Bresson’s “Pickpocket” to Antonionis masterpiece “The Passenger”, from Chuck’s ample turtleneck and trenchcoat collections, to his unbuttoned shirts and sports coats. But he’s no purist, and mixes it up, as the occasional pastel three piece suit and a bow tie bears 80s Southern Gentleman witness to. And while we appreciate the attempt at translating this flamboyance into Chuck’s Season 1 Lower East Side basketball attire, there are certainly more absurdly loud looks that could have achieved this – had they really not familiarized themselves with the cartoon decadence of Iceberg Jeans and nauseating plaid whirl of Phat Pharm?

While impeccably styled men have existed on television before, Chuck Bass is a perfect symbiosis of style and character. To have him dressed any other way would shatter the believability of Chuck’s every action. And therefore offers a stellar example for Modern Men everywhere. The style makes the man, and the man makes the style.

Two guys (B & C) blindsided by their love of Gossip Girl, bring you a slightly more masculine take on the Best Show On Television.