I Am Chuck Bass

Discussed: Hollywood Directors That Should Guest Direct An Episode Of GG, Elitist Magazines And The Expensive Joy They Bring, Definitions of Cool, The Bubblemen Are Great Too, Polo Shirts Unfit For Actual Tennis, Spreading The Character Wealth, The Enduring Transcendence of Altman, Stephen Hawkins in the GG Constellation, Fashion Challenged Directors Of Photography, Baby Balenciaga Vol. I, Street Signs Seen In The Background, Aasimov’s ‘I, Robot’, Sacha Baron Cohen = Prophet, Sotheby’s Current Punk Auction, Latter Day Hits of The Prodigy, Man Bangs Oppression

Making Upton Sinclair Proud, One Episode At A Time

Well, we suppose tonight it was made official, the paperwork sealed with an as-seen-in-Monocle wax letter seal embossed “IAmChuckBass.com” and celebrated with a fine wine of our choosing whilst one of our Mixtapes played proudly in the background.

After suspecting for some time that our humble blog influenced GG in some form of the other, ‘There Might Be Blood’ not only made reference to “cool” nightlife hot spot/dirty coke den of douchebag debauchery Beatrice, as predicted last week in C’s debut of his landmark “4-5-6” column, but also ended with the deft deployment of Love and Rocket’s 80s classic ‘No New Tale To Tell’, again, as our most recent Mixtape to music supervisor Alexandra implored.

But before we develop tennis elbow from prematurely patting ourselves on our Comme Des Garcons for Fred Perry clothed backs, there’s another excellent episode to tend to …

(more…)

Discussed: Galileo, The Key to Humility, Do We Merritt Royalties?, Musical Nemesisies, Darren Starr Needs More Money, Things Even Worse In HD, Desperate Advertising Looks Desperate, Meclizine Is Your Friend, Inspired Analogies.

We have some non-believers amongst our friends. Very few actually, for those initial heretics are easily and heartily won over once the crack like addiction that overwhelms one when immersed in our loaner or Netflix’s GG DVD box set. Those recovering dissidents come back singing a very different Alexandra Patsavas- approved tune.

But amongst those rogue hold-outs still holding out, hating the player and not the game, or those simply ignorant of the far-reaching import of ‘Gossip Girl’, I face one question over and over again: “Are you excited for ‘90210’?” - as if one show simply equates the other…

(more…)

I’M TOO SAD TO TELL YOU

Discussed: Bas Jan Ader, The End Of Days, Astute Commentary, Sardonic Felines As Avatars, Communism Was Right After All, Enquiring Minds Want To Know

Judging from some of the comments on the boards, from in-depth discussions we’ve had, and emails we’ve received, we learned a week without Gossip Girl, is a bad week indeed. It left us feeling a little like Bas Jan Ader – weeping, for we were simply too sad to talk about it; heading out In Search Of The Miraculous, on a tiny boat bound for Ireland, but ultimately lost at sea, lost at sea.

Some Reader Comments:

sarcastic meow: “…The Stock Market is down clearly due to the lack of Chuck Bass and his subsequent wit. My whole week will be out of wack now.”

Which leads us to this week’s Open Questions…

(more…)

Discussed: The Downfall of Established New York Publications, Imagined Sexual Fantasy Animals, Jealousy Only Makes You Weaker, Losers, Don’t Hate – Participate, Potshots of the Unfashionable and Uninformed

LAZY JOURNALISTIC CRITICISM, A BLIGHT ON NEW YORK MAGAZINE: TRANSPARENT JEALOUS ATTEMPT TO TAKE DOWN CHUCK BASS FALLS FLAT

“‘What names does he call you when you make love?’ Honestly?
What names does anyone call each other when they ‘make love’?
In high school.”

Well, well, well New York Magazine. I bet you think you’re awfully awesome and oh-so-irreverantly snarky with what you must think is this shrewd and accomplished take down, as found in your weekly Gossip Girl episode recap and “Reality Index”. Call the Pulitzer Board!

I think at this point we all know what the deal with Mssr. Chuck Bass is, having established himself as well above and beyond the usual oft-bland/immature constitution of your average high school student, emo, whispy-banged or otherwise.

(more…)

Two guys (B & C) blindsided by their love of Gossip Girl, bring you a slightly more masculine take on the Best Show On Television.